The Gifted Child and Communication

Wow. There is so much I could write to you guys right now. I’m going to try not to go crazy and off topic but if I do, it’s a gifted thing. First off, communication is a huge strong point and a giant red weak point. Let’s focus on the good first.

As a quick side point, this might not be exactly like your child, but it is like a lot of the gifted children and teens I was with in school as well as myself. So. Communication. Gifted kids LOVE to talk. Notice how that is in bold and italics? Some people (I’ve actually heard this), round it off as ADHD or ADD, etc. It’s not. It’s our electrical wires in our head buzzing full with electricity and nowhere to store the extra so it bubbles forth as words. Words and ideas that sometimes don’t make sense or connect very well. (E.g. I was young and I connected making friends with smelling feet, I have no clue why. Every time I would see a person, I wanted to talk to them but min went from person talk feet instead of stranger talk friend. Therefore, if I wanted you to be my friend, I made you smell my feet. Sending out an apology here.) It’s okay though. Go along with it. A lot of gifted kids are sensitive, so if you’re tired of the talking, try a simple “Mommy/Daddy had a good day too. It was long. Maybe we can talk later?” Help your gifted kids to connect their ideas in a logical way. I’m not saying to underestimate their intelligence. Make things clear, but tactful.

Now, the negative side. Especially if you have a gifted teen. NEVER, I repeat, NEVER ask them to express how they are feeling. That’s probably a no go. Ask what or why or how somethingĀ happened. Your need for a straight out answer will not correspond to their need to express themselves in a round about way, most likely tearfully and for an hour or two until, finally, at the very end, they get to how they’re feeling. Don’t just ask “What’s the matter?” A gifted child normally doesn’t know. They just know what happened and what the result was and what got them there. Gifted children are not always logical, but analytical. They base a lot on emotion but explain it as cause and effect. They like step by step directions but will skip to the end and go back to read in between the lines later. In other words, if they’re offended, they probably won’t be in a few minutes after they have thoroughly analyzed the situation from everybodies viewpoint. We normally talk before we think, making it hard to express ourselves. Just keep talking to us though, you’ll get the whole story later. šŸ™‚

This difficulty to express oneself can sometimes lead to feeling isolated, left out, awkward, etc. You will have problems with that. It’s ok. My next post will be talking about that, based on some personal and very recent experiences. But basically, if you help your child with communication and are open to listen, you will have a very bubbly child. It can cause some problems, but we get over things fairly quick. So my advice: don’t be afraid of words, keep talking, keep listening, and enjoy the stories you’ll make to keep for a lifetime!

Advertisements

The Daisy Charter: The Magna Carta of Gifted Children

This is my Charter. My Daisy Charter. Why daisies?Ā  Because sometimes gifted children get overlooked, kicked under the bus so to speak. They are labeled (there’s that word again) as “just hyperactive”, “socially incompetent”, “emotional”, “overly sensitive”, and more. Seriously, I could go on and on and on. Daisies are the small flowers of the world. The ones that tend to just pop up randomly and in small little bunches. They’re flowers, but not many care about them because they wilt easily, they aren’t pretty enough, they attract some bees. Well, daisies just so happen to be a lovely flower; one of my favorites. Because they aren’tĀ  random, you can find them anywhere and in largeĀ groups too. They only wilt without water, they have tough little stems and hardy leaves. They’re cute and can brighten up a big bouquet with just a couple. And all flowers attract bees. So I guess what I’m saying is yeah, gifted kids come with some stingers; quirky habits, little irritants, stuff that sets them off. And yeah, gifted children aren’t overly abundant, but there are enough and the number is growing. Maybe they aren’t the Picasso’s, the Mozart’s, the Jimmy Choo of the world. But they are pretty dang smart and loving and beautifully different. They can get pretty hard to deal with sometimes and they can seem too sensitive and incapable. But give them support and love and they blossom. Try to understand them, and you will be appreciated. Don’t fool with them, they will grow. This is my Daisy Charter.

I want love and support and understanding. In return, I will give you intelligence and fun facts until twelve o’ clock on that long car ride home from grandma’s.

I want to be considered normal because different is normal and indifference shouldn’t be normal. In return, I will give you quirky habits you will love and jokes so overthought they’ll make memories aplenty.

I want the right to be looked up to, not looked down on. In return, I will give you a bright smile and happy laugh.

I want the right to be a perfectionist even when you consider it ridiculous because nobody is perfect. In return, I’ll give you a hard worker, loyal and ready to do what she does best anytime.

I want the right to inspire others to get past what others consider a disability and do better than before. In return, I will never give up, even when I’m past the point of no return.

I want the right to be considered just another child. In return,Ā I will give you a big hug every time I am happy and you have helped me, even if I didn’t understand the first time.

I want the right to have education specialized just for me. In return, I will give you my all, I will pore over books and learn all the things you teach me and more.

I want the right to not be labelled, but to be accepted. In return, I will not be who or what I am labelled but I will be me.

I want the right to be emotional, to be sensitive, to be hyper. In return, I will give you energy and fun and confusion and love and a learning experience, for both of us.

I want the right to be a daisy in a field of roses, the so called different in a pot of so called normal. In return, I will show you how different can be good and normal is just an ideal.

-From all the Daisies

P.S. This document is subject to changes because I am gifted and can sometimes be unpredictable.

Yeah, gifted children are unpredictable. Something can be going so right and then BOOM, meltdown. That’s ok. Your child can be having the best day ever and then BOOM, tears of frustration because her sock is on wrong. That’s ok. That essay looks so fantastic and it’s sure to win first prize then BOOM it’s horrible, everything written seems stupid because you forgot citations. That’s ok. BOOM. BOOM. It’s constant. It will get better. But try to understand, notĀ WHAT I, you, he, she, is feeling someway. Try WHY. We don’t know WHAT all the time. But we know WHY. Getting to know these quirks and irritants and habits can help to minimize them, to deal with them. And to understand them. And understanding and support is all we need and want. We don’t want labels when we know we are something. Gifted isn’t what we are. We are gifted. And that’s ok.